I fell in love with you in my 30s.
Nicoleta’s story “Love of my life”
You were in my everyday prayers, even when I did not know how to ask for you.
You were in my heart during my trips to the most unusual places – in Ushuaia – the last place on earth, Iguazu Falls – the largest waterfall in the world between Brazil, Uruguay and Argentina, Cape Point – the place where the two Oceans meet, Kilimanjaro – the highest peak of Africa, Kiruna – the area where the Iced Hotel and Church were created, Punta Cana – the place with the most pristine beaches and turquoise waters, the Ural Mountains -marking the northern part of the border between Europe and Asia…
Thanks to you, I’ve discovered my body. I learned about its flaws, pains, and weaknesses. I insisted on repairing them over and over and over again for so many years so that I could nurture you one day. And when things were not happening the way I wished for, I grieved and cried… You were my 1-3% (one to three percent) chance, and I knew that “1” is not “0”. Thus, I would brush off the despair and fears, and I would restart my journey again.
Thanks to you, I changed the life trajectory and reoriented myself from outwards towards inwards, from material to spiritual, from swallowing the “leftovers” of life to choosing whom and what to accept in it, not compromising my values and my dream of dreams. I learned the hard way that there is no way to happiness, but happiness is the way. I reconnected with myself during this journey. I discovered new hobbies and I invited you into my world through my paintings, writings, and visualization. I reconnected with you in my prayers, mantras, meditations, and affirmations.
Thanks to you, I have visited beautiful churches, holy spiritual places and crossed meaningful paths in magnificent sites of the world I would have never done otherwise. In the past ten years, I did at least one pilgrimage a year, and in each of these holy places in Moldova, Romania, or elsewhere – I was asking for you. I walked over hundred twenty km of Camino de Santiago, often alone, getting meaningful insights along the way and feeling each bliss of the swollen feet. I reconnected with the Cucuteni-Trypillia culture in the temples of Western Ukraine and Romania and asked for the support of my ancestors. I was greeted by God’s messengers – the birds – in the Nativity Church while I was exiting it, and I wrote my wish on a paper that I placed into the Welling Wall of Jerusalem. I passed through the narrow crack of two rocks in Southern Kazakhstan, which guarantees for the wish to come true. I learned about the mysticism of the Ganges and Himalayas ’ gurus, who encouraged me to think thoroughly about the true purpose of this world. I discovered Athena’s temple on the empty sites of Acropolis, where I was greeted by a family of turtles and got an olive tree for my 45th birthday. One morning and six weeks later, you gave me a sign in a dream that you have chosen to stick around.
On the 3rd spring day of the following year, you’ve “hello”-ed this world and this is the day of my rebirth, the day which I was blessed with the greatest gift I could have received. It is the day when I was re-confirmed that miracles exist. Thank you, my love, for giving meaning to the one per cent chance, for choosing me to be your world, and for giving me the gift of motherhood. You became my blessing every single day of my life and I know that the life will go only upwards from here. You are growing fast and I treasure every single memory of your growth, and I can’t thank you enough for the new meaning of love, joy, energy, and happiness you are giving me. I love you, my beautiful gift of God, who carries my DNA and has my smile and eyes. I can’t wait for you to introduce me to this wonderful new World!
…..I fell in love with you in my thirties and this love is stronger than ever. You came exactly when you were supposed to – after I learned some valuable lessons, after learning to trust my higher self, and be conscious of our endless capabilities: Be inspired, Be yourself!
Inna’s story - How two weeks can change a life
Everything started with STAG Fly… As a fresh graduate, I was looking for jobs. One of the companies I had my eyes on was STAG Fly, a Swiss foreign-owned globally operating company, which opened a factory for the manual weaving of fishing flies in Moldova during the mid-90s. I have tried many times to “knock” at their doors and only due to my persistence did they offer me an opportunity. After two weeks of the trial period, I was recruited as fore(wo)man. Within half a year I was working as a Quality Manager dealing exclusively with special clients.
This experience opened my world into a technical field, a field where I continuously learn, and which continues to be dominated in Moldova by male leadership.
I continued my experience as a manager in a fairly new German company operating in Moldova. I had to deal with the paperwork in German, grow as a Manager and get involved in the technical projects. During the first two years of this company on the Moldovan market, it dealt with projects in the production of dust and sawdust extraction systems for furniture production halls and wood processing. In 2009 I became its Director and during the following 8 years, I learned about management and leadership from my German peers while on the job, from seminars, and during my study visits. I got engaged in projects that were getting more and more interesting – such as production and delivery of a ventilation system for the second Draxelmaier factory in Balti, metal construction and delivery of trucks and shipping containers in Europe and Emirates, support to the water treatment plant in Orhei, production of poles and pillars for the camera and traffic lights in Ungheni and Ciadir-lunga, etc. It wasn’t easy, but I was proud to be a part of the process that showed the whole world that Moldova is capable and able to deliver at European standards.
Working for this company gave me wings and the strength to fly… I have set up my own company “AMIASTEEL GROUP” LTD, as early as 2012. I had big plans for it but had time to work on them only after stopping to work for the German company in 2017. During those 5 years when I was still working for the German employer and owning my company, step by step, I managed to think of a strategy for my own company and purchased the necessary equipment to start the production of welded metal constructions. As of 2017, I became more engaged in growing my business and managed to sign an important long-term production contract with a Belgian counterpart. I invested in developing and building a team of 30 people. I made sure that my staff is attending trainings and learning from their peers during study trips abroad. I realized that with a strong appropriately certified team we will succeed even more. I am a “German” product in a way, and I like things to be done at a very high level, therefore I make sure that we comply with ISO9001.2015 standards and that we continue improving ourselves. Until today, we managed to cover a small niche and we are exporting 95% of our final products in Europe and the Americas.
Creating my own company gave me a new perspective and opened up the hidden desires that I hesitated before that to achieve. I understood that everything is possible in the current world if you are flexible enough and you know and can receive joy from what you do. As I was reaching 40, I was reflecting on my subsequent dreams and my next wish was to celebrate my 40th birthday holding a baby – my baby. I started to prepare myself physically and mentally for this process as soon as I reached 38. I was also preparing my replacement because I wanted to have my company in good hands during my maternity leave. I had an easy pregnancy and I continued staying active and engaged with my company, at the same time developing myself professionally. A few days before reaching 40, Sebastian was born. My big dream came true. After his birth, I continued being active online, and only within a few months I was able to return to work full of positive energy and eager to do more and get involved in more projects.
I grew up with siblings and understood the value of family and did not want age to stop me from offering Sebastian a sibling. One year and nine months later, in the fall of 2020, I gave birth to Stefan, my second boy. I cannot be prouder of my two beautiful, smart, and kind children. More than anything, I am extremely happy that the boys will grow up together and will have each other when we grow old.
Despite my passion for my business, my boys are the ones I can talk endlessly about. They teach me about patience and discipline. I take them to work with me sometimes, but I am grateful to my parents who are helping and supporting me in this important task of growing them. Thanks to their support I can also focus on my next project, which is the set-up of a second company during the year of pandemics in 2021. I do this jointly with another full of hopes and dreams young woman which helps me a lot with the management of the first company.
This is my story, and my story is about the endless possibilities we can have, and we can create for ourselves if we are focused and persistent. The area of work – the production industry – is not an easy one for a woman in a society which believes that production is still a male-dominated field. It is important on this journey is to have allies, mentors, and teachers. I was lucky to have two great mentors who taught me about Swiss and German work ethics, supported my dreams and professional ambitions, and helped me overcome difficulties.
Still, my greatest teachers at the present moment are my kids. They help me develop my creativity and the best times of my day are the times spent with them when we can hug each other, tell each other about the achievements of the day, and just enjoy our leisure time together. I also teach them what I know best and expose them to financial education from diapers, because this is important knowledge to have.
Family and business can coexist, and you can be successful at any age in both of these areas. I believe that women that choose a business or career should enjoy what they do daily and not expect results already the following day. The results may come later, but they should be the first ones to open the offices and the last ones to close them. Through my personal experience, I know how important is for women to develop confidence in themselves and overcome their fears. They should not forget to invest in their personal development and have a plan A, B, and even C either in their personal as well as in business lives. My wish to these women is to become courageous and invest in themselves. Be courageous!! Be persistent towards your goal!
Inna Chiriac is an Entrepreneur, the Founder and CEO of “AMIASTEEL GROUP” LTD and “Stahlbau”S.R.L
Violeta's story- How did I get back my life
“I got the test results - cancer confirmed… I hope to be able to hold myself together…”
This is from my correspondence with a friend in mid-August 2018. It was two months after I returned from a trip to Moldova.
I was in shock myself to learn about this. My knowledge was limited in this domain, I was an expert in human rights law. There was no cancer history in my family, the mandatory health check-ups done in Moldova a few years before my US trip were fine… My family also didn’t expect it – my husband and my youngest daughter learned about it first … I would have not told my daughter so soon, but she overheard the news… I told my mother, but not my father – he had a heart-related issue, I couldn’t upset him with this… Coincidence or not – he was diagnosed with heart disease the day I had the biopsy. There was always this weird connection, link between us.
A few weeks earlier, I had an unexplainable respiratory insufficiency. An ambulance was called. This was followed by investigations. The biopsy confirmed stage 3 of this horrible disease. Below are some excerpts from my communication with one of my friends.
“It is a tumour between lungs and bronchioles … The tumour is quite big, the size of a fist and a half, rapidly spreading… meaning I had it for a while…I didn’t tell my eldest daughter yet… she doesn’t need to know this now… you know her, if she finds out, she’ll want to come… I have to protect her; she won’t stop crying for till she reaches us… and it will take her at least 4 hours and she just recently got her driver’s license… „
End of August: “Thanks for the links to Louise Hay and neurographics… I have been drawing occasionally, not lines but other stuff… and thanks for the support cancer group contacts… I didn’t want to join it – too much talk about the disease frightened me… I prefer to get all the info from my doctor… By the way, I signed up for 16 credits at Uni… ha ha … I know it is a lot, but I just want to stay busy … I need to occupy my brain with other thoughts than treatment and the disease…”
September: “I hope you like our September photos :)) That’s our new family member… His name is Prince… No, the doctor did not prohibit having a pet – in fact, it is therapeutic… I am wearing the headscarf, looking pretty good, ahh? Like one of the Sultan’s wives… ha ha ha”
October: “Time passes by so slowly – past two weeks were terrible. The first two rounds of chemo are over. I alternate between chemo and radiotherapy… I had to shave my head.. when I would wake up my pillow would be full of hair.. it was emotional, but not more emotional than to deal with the youngest… she also wanted to shave in solidarity… and my husband too… I stopped them on time… but the youngest cut her hair super short … it broke my heart a bit – it was her first haircut in 11 yrs since she was born… We donated it for wigs… I am drafting a fundraising proposal for the Diaspora – maybe we manage to make some Christmas presents for women with this disease in Moldova…”
“Thanks for Kata’s contacts. She helped me exclude the “c” word from vocabulary.. I am not watching any toxic news – trying to stay away from toxic people… Uni teachers are so understanding, they let me take the exams later… Read Anita Moorjani “Dying to be me” – it’s really powerful. I will certainly win this battle because I am strong. I am starting to have some allergies… I hope I don’t have to eat through tubes” …
November: “I labelled those able to get treatment in other countries “lucky” … I can’t believe I’m one of them… Do you remember how I used to go to Court – ha ha – dressed up smart and with make-up on? … This is how I show up to these chemos – ha ha… I am not yet ready to go public about “c”.. It is tough… really tough…”
“I don’t know how to explain it, but somehow I also fight with myself … it is because I cannot accept this.. and every time I see my doctor I ask him: Can I see this X-ray again?.. like not believing I have that tumour…. Did I tell you that I started yoga classes? I do more relaxation techniques there, can’t do proper asanas or breathing anymore…”
“My darling, I cannot deal with this one anymore … the third round seems to be the worst so far….. can’t stop crying… it is an emotional rollercoaster … I am tired, I can’t hold any liquid food – they said it is normal like this… I don’t know how to fight with my fears… Resting in bed most of the time, swallowing with difficulty, everything inside hurts – chest, stomach – everything… and the medications … they make me sleepy… and from too much sleep – I am having headaches… My youngest requested online classes.. she wanted to be with me to the treatment … I am praying to get through this faster… “
“I got your gift… I honestly started to cry when I opened the card … Thank you so much for believing in my dream… Promise you’ll come to Paris with me… Now at the clinic… will be here for six hours… I asked the doctor today if I can travel to Europe in February. This will do me good, and any positive emotions are improving the results, he said “
“Sorry for not having answered… In the hospital… I started my day in tears – this is the reality at the moment… I am on morphine… when its effect is wearing down – I am crying in pain… which is too much… but I need to recover… I have to try, but I am breaking down … I won’t be online for a few days… no energy … praying for a miracle… The youngest one cried today when she was here… she begged to stay with me at the hospital… I did not let her… she is convinced I will become better sooner if she’ll be around.. People are crying and screaming at night from pain… I can’t let her go through this… There are two days since I’m fed through tubes….. Happy that X-ray showed that the tumour has decreased significantly”
December: “It rained here yesterday… God, how much I missed rain… Will stay here until radio treatment is over… I am safe here… I finally had a good laugh– was provided with a private room and treated like a princess. Did a short walk – in the hallway!!! Yay!!! and then back to bed… Heading with optimism and pain.. And we celebrated the result of my new medications!!! Yay!! I was able to eat and drink without pain…”
“I am feeling great!! How do you like me as a blondie? I lost 8 kilos in the hospital and I look younger, don’t I? And with the steroids from chemo my wrinkles disappeared– ha-ha – we have to find something positive in this… So, happy we managed to all get out to lake Tahoe – all four of us…”
“On Thursday I visited the other world… I woke up surrounded by doctors trying to resuscitate me… The body lost it after the chemo… for the next two rounds will have to change something in the chemo – I cannot resist anymore like this – I am a vegetable; I cannot take care of myself had not having any strength… Home today after two days in hospital .. not even sure how happened – I just recall chest and throat pain, like something was strangling me… my eldest will come here for vacation… I don’t want to spoil X-mas spirit to anyone.. 10 steps feel like 5 k … the heart is getting out chest… and I am dizzy… I am frightened… I am already having palpitations and panic attacks only from this word “chemo” … spoke with a psychologist – she said I am stronger that what I imagine… “I want my life back”, this is what my husband told me I was babbling when I returned to life…. I don’t want such a life anymore… God, I don’t know how people get through these treatments? Thank you for being here for me.. My energy returns after talking to you”
“It’s second day after X-mas… restarted chemo – the doze was reduced.. This semester I ended with honours!!! I hope for 2019 to be a better one.. My baby was born 12 years ago in the year of pig.. It was a lucky year!!”
January: “Not feeling well.. Can’t do the chemo this week… bad blood test results – old story… will try again next week… but the tumour shrank half of its original size.. Watched two good documentaries “Forks over knives” and “What the health” … Watch them!!!”
February: “Yay!! I can’t believe it was last chemo – on my birthday!!… Scanning and blood tests in two weeks.. Now, having a treatment break for 6 months.. I’m a bit scared, if honestly … I’ll know then whether the tumour has scared or not… According to stats, this form has 90% chance of returning in a different form – most often to the brain… I have to make sure the disease doesn’t return, I said to oncologist.. He didn’t comment, he just said “Eat healthy” … I excluded meat, sweets, having just black chocolate, fruits and veggies…”
……………….
Four weeks later, at the beginning of March, I received the sad news that my grandmother was taken by angels. She was 86, she never knew of my disease, but the year before, I promised that I will be at her funeral when she dies. We did not get to the funeral on time. The flight was delayed in Turkey. We stayed for 3 days only in Moldova and had to return to the States. Maybe granny exchanged my life with hers?… My fingers were still getting numb for a while, I was getting feverish and was monitored by the doctors, but things were getting better and better. I had a new round of radio therapy. Then the port chip implanted in the chest during the whole treatment needed to be taken out surgically. Continued with blood tests, and I even overcame a pneumonia 4,5 months after the last chemo .. this delayed the chip being taken out… I stayed over a year with it to ensure that the disease does not return…
I am fine now and healthy. I fought the disease and won the battle. I got out of this with few life lessons which I wrote in my diary… Bottom line – stay busy, get moral support and believe in yourself! It is much easier when you are having moral support and it is so hard when you are alone with your illness…
Violeta Gasitoi is a Human Rights Lawyer